Straighten up and Fly right
Purportedly from Delta Airlines gripe sheets (where P= problem reported by the pilot and S=Solution and action taken by mechanics):
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
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P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
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P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
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P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
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P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
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P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
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P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, & be serious.