The String Theory Diet
Because we're all just a little bit geeky:
Each [sic] rich, satisfying meals of eleven-dimensional noodles, and watch the pounds melt away! You'll lose weight so fast, your friends will think that gravity is leaking off your brane and affecting them more than you! You'll be your own walking hierarchy problem!
You can lose as much as one Planck mass per Planck time (individual loss rates may vary; past results do not guarantee future performance) using our simple three-step plan. The tenured research job and New York Times best-selling pop science book of your dreams are within your reach!