Things I Know I Know

So, I have been following the mighty battle of SFWA presidents and it is clear that this is a battle of the YOUNG vs the OLD. Never mind that some of the YOUNG are in fact old and some of the OLD are clearly young. That is not important.

So, the first question you should ask yourself as you're preparing to vote in this critical election is--am I YOUNG or OLD.

A quiz to help you with this important question:

--If you have ever said, 'Hey, you, get off my lawn!' Stop taking this quiz right now because you win! You are OLD. (I once ran outside in my stocking feet in the middle of winter and told a guy to damn well stop leaning over the fence to pet my dog, but this doesn't count because the dog was a (albeit friendly) Rottweiler and the guy was a freaking idiot.)

--If you have ever said, 'You think that sounds like a good idea but we tried that in 1942 and war broke out.' Ha ha ha, you are OLD.

--If you have said, 'Who are you?' to someone who is arguing with you online and has just given you their name. You are...well, hmmm, you could actually be either YOUNG or OLD.

--If you actually use RSS feeds, Second Life, Live Journal, My Space, YouTube, wikis, Technorati, IceRocket, Windows Mobile 5, Google Alerts or you know what Web 2.0 is, you are YOUNG.

--If you constantly try to divide people and/or things into two groups and boil complex issues down into the FORS and AGAINSTS, you are OLD. Jeez, what's with that? Just stop it already.*

--If you have already switched to Windows Vista, you are either YOUNG or insane.

--If you have no idea what Windows Vista is, you are OLD.**

--If you keep trying things when OLD people tell you Straight Out that it will NOT work and it is WRONG. Then you are YOUNG. And not just YOUNG, but a Whippersnapper. And no one wants to be a Whippersnapper. No one.

*Dividing people up into YOUNG vs OLD does not count. Really. It totally doesn't. Like, at all.

**(If you have a Macintosh you will never be old, because that is the Mighty Macintosh Secrit--shhh, don't tell anyone!)