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January 31, 2005

Crooked Timber Talks of Whales

Don't you really want to know just what sort of post leads to comments like these:

My latest column at “Whale Central Station” is up, exposing the leftist myth of finite whale supplies.

1. Whales breed. Therefore, the potential supply of whales is unlimited.

2. As whaling technology improves, our ability to exploit this limited supply of whales becomes ever-greater. A few years ago, 40 whales in a four year trip was regarded as good going. Modern Norwegian whalers capture and process 40 whales a month. All of the estimates of the “sustainability” of the whale-based economy were put together before such inventions as exploding harpoons. And remember that the supply of whales is self-replenishing. Leftists seem not to understand that whales have sex.

3. Reducing whaling would cost vast amounts of money and destroy our economy; credible estimates would suggest that without whale-oil lamps we would all sit around in the dark until we die. This money would better be spent on providing aid to the Inuit.

4. We can’t give the Inuit property rights over their whales to help them manage the speed of whaling, because that’s just politically impractical.

5. Arrrrr!

And

Dsquared,
is it true that your new book “Right Whales 36,000”, about the inevitable explosion in the whale population once the Bush Administration has removed the dead hand of gov’t regulation, with a forward by Donald Luskin, will soon be out in paperback from Regnery Publishing?

January 28, 2005

Yay me!

I just sold a short story, 'Magic in a Certain Slant of Light' to Strange Horizons.

It's tentatively scheduled for mid-March.

You've got Questions, We've got Answers

Via BoingBoing, Fafblog answers all your questions about Social Security:

Q: Is Social Security in crisis?
A: Yes it is! And if we don’t do something right now it is going to EXPLODE!

Q: Oh no!
A: In forty years.

Q: Then what happens?
A: Then Social Security runs out of money! That means either your benefits are reduced, or all Social Security everywhere explodes in a giant fireball and we will have to run away from the fireball and jump away from it in slow motion to escape!

Q: Tell me more about this crisis in gritty detail!
A: The fireball is huge and loud and expensive and there is grinding guitar music on the soundtrack informing everyone that we are bad, bad dudes! The radiation turns all old people into very poor mutants who must scavenge and eat each other for food. Eventually the robots come: they are unstoppable. What has science done!

And

Q: I ended up with crap stocks, and my private account went empty early. What do I do?
A: You run out of money and starve. But you’ll starve in freedom, because you OWN your empty personal account, which means you OWN your starvation!

Q: I feel so free and hungry!
A: A wise man once said it is better to live in freedom than to die in slavery … the slavery of a secure retirement.

Q: Give me liberty AND death!
A: That’s the spirit!

Q: Wheeee! *hack hack wheeze*

Buffyology

Also via BoingBoing...the database o'Buffy--cast, crew, episodes, all in a searchable database. All the Buffy you'll ever need!

Buffy:  I'm telling you I've seen this somewhere before, I just can't remember where!  I mean, it's like...
Giles:  It's the end of the world.
All three kids:  Again?
Giles:  It's ah, the earthquake, -- that symbol, --yes.
Buffy:  I told you.  I-I said end of the world and you're like--poo-poo, southern California, poo-poo!
Giles:  I'm so very sorry.  My contrition completely dwarfs the impending apocalypse.
Willow:  No, I-it can't be.  We've done this already.
Giles:  It's the end of the world, everyone dies.  It's rather important really.

...Doomed--Season 4

January 27, 2005

The Gun on the Mantel in Hell

At McSweeney's, Dan Kennedy is Making Reruns of Television Sitcoms More Exciting by Adding a Weapon. :

Seinfeld, "The Truth About Taxes"

George's relationship with a former IRS worker may ease Jerry's tax-audit worries—until things go all wrong between them. Elaine sees far too much of Kramer, since he's dating her roommate; in return, he sees far too much of Elaine when he walks in on her getting dressed. George tries to get Jerry's tax records back after breaking things off with the former IRS worker, not knowing that she carries a knife, and he is stabbed in the thigh.

Also at McSweeney's, the Five People You Meet in Hell:

1. Your co-worker Lynn who dates an alcoholic bartender and insists, "He's too smart for his own good."
2. Your neighbor Sean who claims he's "a poet like Brautigan" when he's merely evicted.
3. Your friend's dad who says, "Let me tell ya how we did things back in Philly."
4. Miss Weber, your third-grade teacher with camel toe.
5. Gene Hackman. That guy is everywhere.

Constitutional Blog

The American Constitution Society has a blog:

January 23, 2005

Search, search for your lives...

Cory Doctorow over at BoingBoing says the following made his jaw drop:

Nearly half of searchers use a search engines no more than a few times a week, and two-thirds say they could walk away from search engines without upsetting their lives very much.

I have to admit that I probably use Google between three and twenty times a day and, although I like to occasionally leave the computer and the internet completely behind at times, it's the searching I miss when I'm gone....

January 21, 2005

Straighten up and Fly right

Purportedly from Delta Airlines gripe sheets (where P= problem reported by the pilot and S=Solution and action taken by mechanics):

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
----------------------------------------
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
----------------------------------------
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
----------------------------------------
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
----------------------------------------
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
----------------------------------------
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
----------------------------------------
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, & be serious.

January 20, 2005

The Openings of Unfinished Stories

There's a discussion on a list I'm on about opening lines/paragraphs of stories.

I have to admit that I think I'm pretty good at openings because, since I don't actually know how the story goes until I get to the end, I need an opening that I'm really interested in to get me to do the work required to get to the end.

Here are openings for stories I'm currently working on.

Twelve:

John Henry thinks the wind is coming to get him.

The King thinks this is ridiculous. “You can’t listen to dogs,” he says. “They’re hardly ever right.”

The King is hardly ever right either, but it only makes him angry when I point this out to him. To be fair, he never expected to be King, being the second son of the third cousin of the old King’s half-brother, and perfectly content--the way he tells it now--to be a captain of the Guard in Posteria-that-was. Now, he’s the only King we have.

Tanny and the Bruiser:

Tanny caught the Bruiser his first night instation.

We were playing cards with three rousters from the Bomano when she slid up behind him and put her gun against his temple.

"Unusual," he said, "you don't see Kenett-Spring loaders around much any more. How do you power it?"

"Women's orgasms and men's screams," she told him, her breath like the whisper of a summer's breeze against his skin.

"You must run out of fuel a lot."

"You'd be surprised."

Waking Up Dead In Iowa:

Joe Crowley came back first, which didn’t seem all that strange at the time. He’d only been dead an hour and a half and nobody even knew it yet, except Joe himself.

“I blew my head off with a shotgun,” he said to me, as I was finishing my morning coffee on the front porch of my double-wide residence/office/medical clinic. “How come I ain’t dead?”

January 19, 2005

Yay!

Comments appear to be working now.

Someone talk to me...


Update: Not spammers.

Stuff that goes really, really fast

The Fastest Stuff in the Universe:

Among the speed demons of the universe are Jupiter-sized blobs of hot gas embedded in streams of material ejected from hyperactive galaxies known as blazars. Last week at a meeting here of the American Astronomical Society, scientists announced they had measured blobs in blazar jets screaming through space at 99.9 percent of light-speed.

"This tells us that the physical processes at the cores of these galaxies … are extremely energetic and are capable of propelling matter very close to the absolute cosmic speed limit," said Glenn Piner of Whittier College in Whittier, California.

The important stuff

There is no social security crisis:

Social Security is America's promise that those who work hard and play by the rules will retire with dignity. Even the most pessimistic of economists agree it will remain solvent for decades. There is no crisis.

January 18, 2005

Comment on comments

Comments appear not to be working at the moment. I will probably not get to take a look at them until this weekend. Not that I think there's be all that many people dropping by between now and then and dying to leave comments....

January 17, 2005

Martin Luther King, Jr.

b.1929-d.1968:

...we have come here today to dramatize an appalling condition. In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir.

This note was a promise that all men would be guaranteed the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation.

So we have come to cash this check -- a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to open the doors of opportunity to all of God's children. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood.

January 16, 2005

The Wisdom of Twelve Angry Men

The Despair, Inc demotivational poster for Meetings says:

None of us is as dumb as all of us.

James Surowecki says in The Wisdom of Crowds, ok, yeah, maybe sometimes that's true, but not always. And, in fact, particularly in large, independent groups, the many are way smarter than the individual expert:

At 11:38 AM on January 28, 1986, the space shuttle Challenger lifted off from its launch pad at Cape Canaveral. Seventy-four seconds later, it was ten miles high and rising. Then it blew up. The launch was televised, so news of the accident spread quickly. Eight minutes after the explosion, the first story hit the Dow Jones News Wire.

The stock market did not pause to mourn. Within minutes, investors started dumping the stocks of the four major contractors who had participated in the Challenger launch: Rockwell International, which built the shuttle and its main engines; Lockheed, which managed ground support; Martin Marietta, which manufactured the ships external fuel tank; and Morton Thiokol, which built the solid-fuel booster rocket. Twenty-one minutes after the explosion, Lockheed's stock was down 5 percent, Martin Marietta's was down 3 percent, and Rockwell was down 6 percent.

Morton Thiokol's stock was hit hardest of all. As the finance professors, Michael T. Maloney and J. Harold Mulherin, report in their fascinating study of the market's reaction to the Challenger disaster, so many investors were trying to sell Thiokol stock and so few people were interested in buying it that a trading halt was called almost immediately. When the stock started trading again, almost an hour after the explosion, it was down 6 percent. By the end of the day, its decline had almost doubled, so that at market close, Thiokol's stock was down nearly 12 percent. By contrast, the stocks of the three other firms started to creep back up, and by the end of the day their value had fallen only around 3 percent.

What this means is that the stock market had, almost immediately, labeled Morton Thiokol as the company that was responsible for the Challenger disaster....As Maloney and Mulherin point out, though, on the day of the disaster there were no public comments singling out Thiokol as the guilty party....Savvy insiders alone did not cause that first-day drop in Thiokol's price. It was all those investors--most of them relatively uninformed--who simply refused to buy the stock.

He goes on to say:

The market was smart that day because it satisfied the four conditions that characterize wise crowds: diversity of opinion (each person should have some private information, even if it's just an eccentric interpretation of known facts), independence (people's opinions are not determined by the opinions of those around them), decentralization (people are able to specialize and draw on local knowledge); and aggregation (some mechanism exists for turning private judgments into a collective decision).

This afternoon, I happened to turn on the television and Twelve Angry Men was playing on (I think) Turner Classic Movies. Twelve Angry Men is one of my great favorite movies. It's about justice and doing what's right and the transcendence of ordinary people. Plus, it has great speeches just littered all through it. It's also a classic example of the wisdom of crowds. One of the things I noticed this time through--maybe because I'd just finished reading The Wisdom of Crowds is how much depends on the different experience and knowledge of the men in the room--the old man(Joseph Sweeney) knows what it's like to be a forgotten old man, Jack Klugman knows how to use a switchblade, Henry Fonda used to live next to the El. They were poor men and immigrants and business men and laborers. They each brought knowledge with them that others didn't bring. They each observed different things in the courtroom, they each had different prejudices (which meant that their prejudices would be questioned, not just taken for granted.

They were diverse. They were independent--they had never met before their jury duty and they didn't even know each other's names until Henry Fonda and Joseph Sweeney introduce themselves as they're leaving the courthouse. Henry Fonda broke them out of 'groupthink' and gave them the opportunity to bring their special knowledge to bear on the situation. And they were locked in a room until they came to an agreement--making aggregation a necessity.

this is a test

I'm testing blockquotes

here's a quote

here's a second paragraph

and the end

For want of a nail gun

Most weird news is too weird for me, but this is just incredible:

"A dentist found the source of the toothache Patrick Lawler was complaining about on the roof of his mouth: a four-inch nail the construction worker had unknowingly embedded in his skull six days earlier."

New Year...a little late

I think I'm back, though for how long remains to be seen.

I've updated to MT 3.

I've got the beginnings of a new design (though since I have no design or graphics software it's kind of slow going). I built it initially from the Firdamatic: the Design Tool for Uninspired Webloggers, which was surprisingly close to the design I had in my head (and may get closer as I tweak it. I still need to figure out how I want the title to appear (which may be limited by the fact that I have no software and I don't want to buy any because I would only use it once or twice and probably badly). Though I kind of sort of know how I want it to look so we'll see.

More updates to come...

January 15, 2005

a new entry

testing an upgrade